2 years of fucking…let’s fuck some more!!!

wow, i guess i’m entering the junior year of my sex  & love bites blog…what a fucking wild ride it has been!!!
my freshman year started off a little shaky: i had so much raw emotions to express i could hardly contain myself.
my sophomore year got a little better: i had a clearer idea what i [...]

ladies, guys aren’t the f*cking enemies!!!

i was riding on the muni this morning (lamenting the loss of my bike that got stolen on monday–fucking bastards!!!), and i was hit with this thought, “when the hell did guys become the enemy in my world?!!!”
if they are the enemy, why do i want to share my bed with them so much? wtf!!!
i [...]

i’m a total walking cliche…shoot me already?

ugh! i just realized the other day that i’m so trite that it’s disgusting. ;( i’m made up of fairytales, romantic comedies, and sappy, silly love songs.
i’m a sucker for a handsome smile. i get weak in the knees for a genuine laugh, a soft voice, and a witty mind. my panties get a bit [...]

fuck! all the butterflies are dead…

the boy i liked so much on monday turns out to still be obsessively in love with his ex from 5 years ago and just as the main character in “love in the time of cholera,” is fucking as many girls as he can until his ex eventually takes him back. he still hangs out [...]

i like a boy…i hope he likes me!

i don’t want to jinx myself, but i like a boy i’m going to meet tonight. we talked last night on the phone, and i had butterflies, really beautiful ones with wings the color of spring turning into summer. my cheeks were blushing down to my toes.
a part of me doesn’t want to [...]

ouch! my womb is heartbroken…

ugh! ugh! ugh! i woke up this morning and as i was getting dressed, i checked myself in the mirror. i felt so heartbroken as i put my hand on my belly. i’m never going to feel the kick of a baby. i feel like a cliche of a miserably lonely 34-year-old woman crying over [...]

he likes me, he likes me NOT…

latest updates: i think i want to move to chicago or boston? maybe the men are better there.
the friend who i told i have a crush on finally wrote back to let me know that he had no idea that i felt like that and that he didn’t think it would work out between us [...]

i so want to fuck ben gibbard…

ugh! ugh! ugh! ben gibbard, lead singer of death cab for cutie is one of the hottest guys in all the world, and his voice just turns me into mushy goo. what i would give to sleep in his arms as he sings softly to me and wake up next to him each and every [...]

the silence is fucking killing me…

why can’t guys just be honest?!
if you like me, you like me. if you don’t, just tell me you aren’t interested. why do you have to go completely silent like a fucking asshole?!
i once heard that guys would rather chop off their right arm than break up with someone in person or tell a girl [...]

are hotter guys just fucking hotter kissers…

…cuz they just get more play?!!!
lately, i’ve been extremely horny for a good fuck, but what i crave even more than a rocking roll in the hay is a good kiss…i mean a good, fucking yummy kiss, the kind that makes you forget to cross your legs and gives you asthma for days (and believe [...]

wtf happens after “the happily ever after”???

growing up, they never tell you about what happens after “then they lived happily ever after.” they never tell you that sometimes prince charming ends up fucking the ugly stepsister while you’ve gone to visit your fairy godmother.  they don’t tell you that pumpkins don’t actually turn into horse-drawn carriages or mice can’t actually wish [...]

oops! i fucked up yet again…

ok, so lately, there’s been this friend i’ve had for 6 years whom i’ve suddenly started to feel a little more romantic towards. he’s actually an ex-boyfriend of my younger sister, so i never even thought of him as a possibility for me. he never said or did anything to make me think otherwise, either, [...]