ok, so after 70+ odd matches on e-harmony, finally steve, a biochemist who seems really sweet and genuine contacts me. we get through the e-harmony obstacle course in record time, he writes me a nice e-mail and i return with one in kind……then silence, i mean deafening silence. i wait a day, then another, so finally, i can’t stand it anymore, so i write again and ask if i said something offensive in my e-mail (i haven’t, of course, but wtf?). he replies back and tells me something happened in his life that makes dating not a good idea. he wishes me the best of luck, and i am utterly flabbergasted?! really, either the love gods really fucking hate me or this guy is totally lying or i just need to give up cuz the world seems to be fighting against me right now.
it’s like i’m running a marathon, i can almost see the finish line, but some fucking asshole sticks his leg out and makes me trip and fall on my face and now i’ve got a sprain which hurts too much for me to continue. i’m crawling here…oh, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s some more jerks spitting in my eyes, so i can’t even see clearly right now. really, what the fuck is going on?!
you say, hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. it’ll get better with time, when you least expect it. when you stop chasing after it, love will find you. excuse my french, but go fuck yourself!!! from age 16-26, i didn’t actively look for love, nobody ever found me…instead, i felt like the most unattractive woman in all the world. from age 26-34, i’ve looked for love actively on and off, i thought i finally found it with andy, but i was wrong. now, i don’t know what’s up or down anymore? believe me, i may not be a supermodel, but i know that i’m fucking amazing catch…maybe just too fucking amazing for the emotionally-stunted men in the bay area (i really don’t want to generalize a whole group by a few i’ve dated, but really, san francisco, is this the best you have to offer?!)…wtf!?
6 Comments
June 12, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Yes it is a jungle out there to say the least, may be the Bay area just doesn’t have what you need??
June 25, 2009 at 6:22 pm
sf is my home now, so i’m not going to let a few idiots scare me away just yet.
even if i have to convince one of my gay friends to play for my team, this is the city i love best.
June 13, 2009 at 2:40 pm
The truth is that it probably won’t get better with time, but you need to make sure you are doing what is right for you and not settling.
I fell for the wrong person – the one that I thought was “The One” – and needless to say I am now getting a divorce.
I’m sure you are a catch, the problem is that the world is fucked up and 99% of the people out there are, well, morons.
And just because it might not get better with time doesn’t mean that you should give up, because when you least expect it Mr. Right will show up and sweep you off your feet.
It’s easy for me to sit back and say keep fighting the good fight, but the truth is is that I have been kicked when I’m down, so I know it’s not that easy.
I do hope you find happiness sooner rather then later.
June 25, 2009 at 6:21 pm
during this down time, i’m actually really learning to love myself. it’s not an overnight thing, but it’s well worth figuring out how for my sake. thank you for your best wishes.
June 27, 2009 at 6:00 am
…hallelujah…! You finally figured out that it is ABOUT YOU..! Love yourself, that is the love you were looking for
Now – actively looking for love does not help. You need to glow and attract the right person who will see how much you love yourself and he will be attracted immensely to you… But instead you are looking for someone who would somehow consciously and rationally make commitment to you FOREVER. Now I have to say WTF!?! Every manin their right mind would run scared…! The man who will eventually love you will NEVER know WHY he loves you… that is the secret. I do not know why I love my wife, and want to keep it that way…. anyway, I digress – once again DO NOT LOOK FOR IT, just let it come to you 
June 27, 2009 at 12:08 pm
thank you for your comments. i wasn’t expecting some guy to marry me without question? i just wanted to meet someone who i could get to know better through time and fall in love slowly. i can’t and won’t believe that everyone in a relationship right now has figured out this secret and deserves to find love more than i do. i’m glad that you love your wife, but i would hope deep down inside you actually do know why.