i was talking to my therapist about my dating life, and although she had not seen the movie and only knew of its premise, she said that i seem to be like good luck chuck. i paused for a moment and realized it’s true, but you don’t necessarily have to fuck me to meet the woman of your dreams next. you just have to date me for a few weeks and then you’ll realize i’m NOT the “one,” but the next woman you meet will be. great for the guys, but sucks to be me!
for the longest time, i thought maybe i just had very bad love karma, but my therapist pointed out that i seem to have attracted men who were emotionally dysfunctional or unavailable (my daddy issues) and since i’m 200% accepting of these individuals, i give them a pause, a safe place, a commercial break from regular dating, allowing them to work out their issues before they are ready to find the “one.” it made me cry because i always thought and felt like there was something so unlucky about me, but the way she phrased it, i was this precious lesson for them to learn and for myself to learn. everytime i learn a little more about myself through these relationships (long-lived or short), i’m also getting closer to what i am looking for in a partner.
i’ve been always aiming to be so perfect in all aspects of my life that to fail so miserably at love made me feel like such a loser. but now, i see myself for who i am, not a loser, just someone learning the ropes like the rest of the world. i’m getting better at reading the red flags and stopping myself from taking care of others better than i treat myself.
and so until i do find the “one,” (if that’s even in the cards for me), bring on those lovely mistakes! i’m ready to date, to fuck, to laugh, to cry, to fall on my ass, to get back up again without too much embarrassment, to learn, and to eventually fall deeply, madly in love someday… 
2 Comments
April 16, 2008 at 9:57 am
Your blog is good! I like it a lot. I understand what you mean about aiming to be perfect, and how it can fuck with your mind. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders!
April 26, 2008 at 10:18 am
There are reasons.
Experience is supportive of your beliefs.
and
a loving reminder of your innaccurate beliefs that are incongruent with your true self.
What is your belief?