the other day, i told a friend of mine that sometimes i go through long — i mean fucking long ass, desert-esque — periods of no sex let alone finding true love (i’m still not sure if i’ve ever found it)…
that like a starving person entering a restaurant, i take one look at the menu and order the first thing that looks somewhat yummy (find a guy who somewhat fits what i’m looking for)…
mind you, i don’t even read the finer details to see if it’s healthy or meets the 4 major food groups or rather even if it’s all that appetizing (i overlook the warning signs, i give excuses to myself why he’s quite a catch)…
i’m just so hungry, so instead of really ordering what i’m craving for or looking to see my healthier options, i just jump right in (i start to charm the boxer briefs off the guy with my humor, my wit, and cleavage doesn’t hurt).
as i wait for my dish to arrive, i’m hungrily looking at the plates of the other diners beside me and growing jealous and even hungrier by the minute (not even realizing that i don’t eat pork, so that girl with the porkchops has nothing on me).
when the waiter finally arrives with whatever i’ve ordered, i scarf it down without even breathing let alone tasting or savoring each bite (we’re kissing madly, my hand is down his pants and massaging his erect cock, his fingers play with my clit and then into my dripping wet pussy, my mouth wrapped around his juicy, hard dick almost bringing it to the point of explosion, then we’re fucking like rabbits all night long).
then after i’m licking the sauce off the plate and stuffed to the point of no return (multiple orgasms, we’ve both been cumming like geysers — him into a condom inside me & me squirting onto my bed sheets ), i enter into a food coma (that sex bliss, afterglow glistening on my tits, my belly, my legs) and wake up the next morning and realize that i’m back in the desert again (he had to go and will most likely not call again) and i can’t even remember what the hell i ate (as the days pass, i start to forget what the guy even looked like, why i even thought he was worth my time or my body).
there’s an emptiness in the pit of my stomach that rings so loudly (of loneliness, regret, and pain) that it’s unbearable at times…
so i’m going to try to fill my stomach with healthy foods (loving myself, filmmaking, hanging out with family and friends, training for that triathlon i’ve been talking about, starting a photography business, even hanging out with guy friends who really care about me)…
and just maybe the next time i go to a restaurant, i’ll make a yummier, healthier choice and really experience that meal completely (find not just sex, but love).
Fergodsake, don’t give yourself such a hard time over the occasional slice of pizza. You wouldn’t want to live on the stuff but sometimes you’re just SO hungry and pizza can be SO yummy! Are you going to be hungry again the next day? Of course you are; doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have had the pizza, even if you did wolf it down so fast that you can’t quite remember what toppings you ordered.
Relax, have a bowl of yogurt.