can i tell you a little dirty secret? i sometimes envy porn stars, strippers, and whores…they can just have sex without reservation and/or seem to ooze sexuality from their pores by the very thing they do for a living…ok, i know it’s not a glamorous life for most, but i envy that they have the ovaries to get out there and shake their goodies and actually make a living. there are times i seriously consider stripping or maybe being a fluffer just so i can pay a bill or two (it really does cost an arm, a leg, and an eyeball to actually live here in san francisco, but i love living here too much to move elsewhere…the price of happiness, i guess).
one of my fantasies which i still haven’t done yet is to paint my face up as cheap as i can (you know what i’m talking about, blue eyeshadow, blood red lipstick, maybe glitter or blush, paint my nails some tacky purple), wear my sluttiest g-string, bustier, and fuck-me boots up to my thighs and stand on the seediest corner of the tenderloins and walk around a bit until my boyfriend/lover/husband??? drives up and talks to me extra sleazy, definitely unlike his normal demure self. i’d ask him, “hey baby, wanna go for a wild ride in me?” “i’ll suck on your hard, juicy cock for only $50!” “you can cum on my tits for an extra $20.” “me want to love you long time!” i want him to drive me to some nasty alleyway and just fuck me like a wild man without kissing me or trying to please me, just focusing on getting himself off. then i want him to give me whatever we negotiate for my services and for him to drop me off at the same corner and drive around the block. then of course, i’d expect him to pick me up again, and we’d laugh all the way home where we’d take a long, loving bubble bath and then make love and fall asleep in each other’s arms.
i have way too many body issues, societal judgment, and sheer fear that prevents me from stripping or being a part of a porn film. i don’t think i can actually be a prostitute, but in a weird way, i guess i already have in the process of dating. i’ve had a couple of one-night stands (of course, at the time i didn’t think they would end up being one-night stands), but at the most basic definition of prostitution, i had sex with a guy in exchange for a nice dinner and/or a show ticket. and in a crazy way, i probably got ripped off because man, i’m an amazing fuck! and don’t get me started on my blowjob skills! and that’s just the sex part, i’m pretty darn entertaining —i’m a 24-7 amusement park, baby! ;p
i used to think that all of this was degrading to women and led to rape and all those things you’re supposed to believe and stand up against. as i grew older, i realized that prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, and i don’t think it’s going to ever go away, so let’s be smart and legalize it and regulate it (absolutely no minors, regular std testing, health insurance, unions, overall safety and protection). whether one is getting compensated in cash or nice dinners, i think two consenting adults should be allowed to do whatever they please as long as they’re not hurting each other or others in the process. we as a culture are way too puritanical and stick our noses into bedrooms we have no business in the name of decency.
ahhh, but even though i may envy these women’s chutzpah at times, i am pretty darn happy i don’t have to show my goodies to every joe, harry, dick, and even mary who happens to walk into my stripclub or rent my video. my body is still exclusively for someone i really dig and want to fuck! ;p it’s one thing to fantasize for an evening, but i still want a life with more purpose and meaning than just fucking. and if i had to do it for a living, i might become too numb to the excitement and realness of actually connecting with my lover, and really, how do you put a price on your body? it’s priceless!!!
ahhh, but it’s fair to say, the lucky guy who ends up with me is going to get some good loving and plenty of it!!! i wish he’d hurry up and get here already! time’s a-wasting! ;p
1 Comment
March 12, 2008 at 9:43 am
“whether one is getting compensated in cash or nice dinners, i think two consenting adults should be allowed to do whatever they please as long as they’re not hurting each other or others in the process. we as a culture are way too puritanical and stick our noses into bedrooms we have no business in the name of decency.”
Exactly. That’s why I moved to Asia.